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A Letter to the Newly Separated or Divorced

Dear Friend,

The day your marriage ends is officially the first day of the rest of your life. Whether you made the decision to end your relationship together, made it yourself, or had the decision made for you, the truth remains the same: Everything is different now, and from this point forward, you get to make your own choices.

My wise cousin told me, about a month into my separation, that my life hadn’t begun yet. Everything up until this point, she said, was about creating my daughter. Everything from this point forward is about creating my life. She was right. And I believe that’s true whether you’ve been married two years or twenty.

Today is the day you begin living for yourself. And, of course, your kids. Always put them first, and you’ll never make a wrong turn.

I’m not going to lie to you. This is going to be a hard road. At times, it will be incredibly liberating. Other times, it will be so effing miserable you will wonder if leaving was worth it. But you’ll know, even as you ask yourself that question, that it was. Absolutely, 100% worth it. You are brave. And, as they say, fortune favors the brave.

I have a lot of wishes for you. Things like confidence in yourself and your choices. The strength to not jump into another relationship until you learn how to be aloneFaith in yourself, your intuition, and a higher purpose. The ability to forgive and appreciate the gift that this experience is, no matter how awful it can be. And patience with the process, because it’s going to take awhile.

But you’re not ready to hear those things yet. This is your journey, and you won’t get to things like forgiveness until the very end.

Try your hardest to be patient. I know it is hard. It really is. But you can’t rush art, and that’s what this is. You are transforming yourself into something new and beautiful, and that takes time.

I have so much to say to you, but mostly, I just want to say this: Congratulations. Just by moving forward, you've taken the first step of a long journey, and I know you can finish it. Keep your head up. I’m on the other side now, and I can tell you this: it’s worth it.  

Love,
Sara 

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