When I was younger, I spent a lot of time deferring to other people, telling myself it didn’t matter that much to me. While those individual choices didn’t matter that much to me, what DID matter was that I got into a habit of not asking myself what i want. That created a lot of very destructive patterns in my life.
If you don’t know what you want, how will you know what to ask for?
The foundation of everything is your values, and what’s important to YOU. When you don’t know what your values are, and what is important to you, and what your likes and dislikes are, you end up floating through your life at the whim of other people. Your life doesn’t have a solid foundation.
When you know your values, ethics, and moral beliefs, you can begin to live from them. That makes it easier to build a life that is true to you and helps you guide your kids and your family in a direction that feels RIGHT to you.
During any hard time, cracks begin to show up in the foundation of our lives. Over time, our values shift and we learn new things about ourselves and the world around us. Most of the time, though, don’t stop to think about what exactly has changed for us.
How to Rethink Your Values
Now is the best time to really evaluate what’s important to you. It will be your north star. You might be wondering how, exactly, you go about doing this. Is this an exercise that takes five minutes? Probably not.
Here’s how I did it: I used a couple of websites:
I referenced the list, and I wrote down the values that resonated with me on a piece of paper. I left it alone for a day or so, then came back and highlighted those that really felt like they were sincerely me.
This might seem like a simple exercise, but for me, knowing that I value a balanced life, community, stability, peace & quiet, and joy, I can begin to make choices based on those values.
- Because I value balance, I will make sure that every day I do my spiritual practice, move my body, and honor my emotions.
- Because I value community, I will surround myself with wonderful people, and always be real with them so they feel at ease.
- Because I value faith in my own resilience, I will be dedicated to listening to my intuition.
- Because I value peace, I will take things slowly, attempt to do what’s easy, and create calming spaces.
- Because I value joy, I will try not to let things get too serious, always be grateful, and have fun.
Think about it . . . what do you value?