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Episode 7: Taking What You Need



[00:00:02] Parenting is hard enough on a good day — but when you're facing a huge change like divorce, moving, a health crisis, or even a pandemic, it can be downright overwhelming. My name is Sara Olsher and I'm the founder of Mighty + Bright, where I help your family cope with the uncertainty that comes from life's major upheavals. Together we can help your kids take this hard time and turn it into resilience that they'll be able to use for the rest of their lives. Join me for quick and easy 5 to 10 minute episodes that will leave you feeling 100% positive that you got this.

[00:00:41] We as parents tend to judge ourselves for needing time to ourselves.

[00:00:49] I was thinking . . . this morning I got up early because I always get up at like five thirty in the morning just so that I can have some time to myself. And this morning everybody got up really early. The girls were downstairs. They were playing with the kittens that we're fostering. They were giggling, they were high energy. And I was like, irritated and I couldn't figure it out because I'm like, who gets irritated over happiness? And I realized I wasn't actually irritated — I was *anxious.* And once I was able to recognize that I had anxiety and just sit with it for a second, I realized that the reason I was anxious was because I hadn't gotten the time that I needed in the morning to just ease my way into the day.

[00:01:41] And the sounds really spoiled, I thought to myself. I was judging myself for needing space in the mornings. And how privileged am I to even get children and have space in the morning usually, like, get over it, right? NO. I am here to tell you, I would NEVER want you to judge yourself the way I judged myself this morning. Because we build time into our days so that we can be the best people, and the best parents, that we possibly can be. At least that has been my practice over the past five years . . . is figuring out what I need to be the best person possible for me, and for my family, and for my work. And when I don't get that time, I'm NOT the best person that I could be - because I didn't get what I needed in order to BE that person.

So I just want to send this message to you today, because I want you not to judge yourself for needing space or for getting irritated when you don't get what you want. You are not a spoiled brat when you are crabby because you don't get time to yourself, or you aren't able to read at night the way that you enjoy doing, or you're not able to take a morning walk because of something.

[00:03:13] You know, when those things, those rituals that we rely on for our own self-care are interrupted, we have a right to be crabby about it. Now, we can choose to stay crabby or we can do what I did. I said, "you know what, girls? I am going to go upstairs for a little bit." And then I came and I sat in the closet because my closet is my special place. That's actually where I am right at this very moment. And I sat in the closet for a good ten minutes and I took some time with my coffee and the silence of the closet, and nobody interrupted me. And then I was a better person for it. So I just want to send that message to you today: If you need to go in the closet, you do you. Because we know what we need. Have a wonderful day.